


and so i'm offering this simple phrase

by youabird (nevulon)



Series: you ought to give me wedding rings [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: An Appropriate Number of Typos, Christmas, Epistolary, Fluff, M/M, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28615959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevulon/pseuds/youabird
Summary: Richie Tozier finishes his fall 2017 comeback tour and goes to spend Christmas in New York. This wouldn't be newsworthy, except he's spotted wearing a gold ring on his left hand.Or, emails to and from Steve Covall, December 2017.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: you ought to give me wedding rings [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2099805
Comments: 55
Kudos: 293





	and so i'm offering this simple phrase

**Author's Note:**

> this is NOT the real epilogue, which i promise is still coming, but here, have this weird bullshit that i could not get out of my brain. also i almost named this "make the yuletide gay" but i thought, hmm, that's a little much!! title is from The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole.
> 
> you do have to read Give a Shape to understand what’s going on, but you can skip this one if you hate looking at emails; it’s not crucial to the story.
> 
> content warnings include: light allusion to the concept of outing/homophobia; richie objectifies a hypothetical woman. 
> 
> all time stamps are LA pacific standard time.

**From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 17, 01:37am

Subj: Good Job

Hey Rich,  
Good job tonight—congrats on wrapping up the tour! M from Pittsburgh venue was here. She liked it & will call her cousin who has an in at Showtime. Very funny. Still don’t understand why you feel the need to engage with hecklers—you have a reputation—easier to just brush that off—but at least it was good (if repetitive—already covered millennial ennui at the top of the set). I'm sure you'll be at the airport by the time you read this but take the rest of the year off. I want you in my office bright and early Jan 2 to discuss next steps.

Regarding the possibilities of... _(click to expand)_

* * *

 **From: Richie Tozier**  
To: Steve Covall  
Dec. 17, 12:34pm

Subj: Re: Good Job

Thanks boss man! No fuckin way will I be reading all that until January! Will be in NYC until Dec 27, also will have friends in town (and thus be extremely hungover) Jan 1 - 3. Meet Thursday?

R

* * *

 **From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 18, 09:22am

Subj: Re: Re: Good Job

Hey Rich,  
Jan 4th is acceptable—if you’re going to be on a bender please remember to shower before meeting.

What are you doing in NYC? I thought your parents lived in Florida—if you have time I could set up a meeting w NBC, CBS?

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 20, 02:51pm

Subj: HELLO????

RICHARD????????? PICK UP YOUR PHONE BEFORE I FLY TO NYC?????

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Richie Tozier**  
To: Steve Covall  
Dec. 20, 02:59pm

Subj: Re: HELLO????

boss man I am about to see the Rockettes so no can do. call tomorrow ?

_Sent from my iPhone_

* * *

**From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 20, 03:01pm

Subj: Re: Re: HELLO????

NO? Call me ASAP Rich—just got google alert saying TMZ is reporting you married a “hot blonde with a huge rack”—true??

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Richie Tozier**  
To: Steve Covall  
Dec. 20, 05:48pm

Subj: Re: Re: Re: HELLO????

i was misquoted :(

_Sent from my iPhone_

* * *

**From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 20, 06:02pm

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: HELLO????

HOW SO??? Richie i have spent the last YEAR OF MY LIFE making this career saving coming out plan for you because you abandoned your tour and went off to maine and had a near death experience in a FUCKING SEWER (???) YOU SAID you saw everything different now and you wanted to be AUTHENTIC AND REAL without completely sacrificing yuor working REPUTATION and now you GET MARRIED TO A WOMAN IN NEW YORK? WHO DO UOU EVEN KNOW IN NEW YORK??????????

PICK! UP! YOUR! PHONE!

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 20, 07:13pm

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: HELLO????  
Attachments: Richie-Tozier-Mystery-Woman-AE0029Z.jpeg

DID YOU MARRY THIS WOMAN RICHIE??

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 20, 07:21pm

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: HELLO????

Oh wait no that’s Bev Marsh. How do you know Bev Marsh? Why were you at the Rockettes with Bev Marsh??

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 20, 11:38pm

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: HELLO????

Richie if you don’t call me by 9am PST i am flying to NY and i will kill you with my bare hands

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Richie Tozier**  
To: Steve Covall  
Dec. 21, 07:22am

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

Jesus Steve. i am writing this on the Staten island ferry so i can’t call. i am not married to a woman i am still gay. Bev is an old friend from high school. her bf wanted to see the rockettes, idk what to tell you.

i was ice skating @ rockefeller center (lol) and a pap asked me why i was wearing a ring (the same one i’ve been wearing for a month btw) and i told a harmless joke!! also who tf reads the second page of tmz?? pls calm down and don’t throw away elaborate coming out plans.

will call you tonight after dinner with eddie’s coworkers. try to rub one out? (will calm you down.)

want anything from nyc?

R

_Sent from my iPhone_

* * *

**From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 21, 09:02am

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

WHY ARE YOU WEARING A RING RICHIE????????

Get me a box of rainbow cookies.

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 21, 09:05am

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

also—Eddie?? Childhood best friend Eddie, the one you went to maine & almost died for last year? you’re spending christmas with him?

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 21, 09:07am

Subj: RICHARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DID YOU MARRY THIS GUY EDDIE???

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Richie Tozier**  
To: Steve Covall  
Dec. 21, 10:38am

Subj: Re: RICHARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not yet :(

_Sent from my iPhone_

* * *

**From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 21, 10:52am

Subj: Re: Re: RICHARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET UNMARRIED (UNENGAGED??) AND GET BACK TO LOS ANGELES ASAP. DO NOT MARRY ANYBODY—I AM TECHNICALLY ON VACATION. I AM BILLING YOU TIME AND A HALF TO TELL YOU NOT TO BLOW UP YOUR CAREER—ECONOMICAL?? I DON’T THINK SO?

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Richie Tozier**  
To: Steve Covall  
Dec. 21, 3:49pm

Subj: Re: Re: Re: RICHARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

boss man no offense bc you’ve been a great manager but if you’re telling me to choose between eddie & my career it’s a no brainer. i’ll get a job at starbucks before i give him up. i’ve been in love with him since i was a kid and i thought he was gonna die last year. i’m not gonna do anything to lose him.

i didn’t know i could be this happy steve but watching him even when he’s not doing anything, even when he’s just watching a shitty xmas movie or looking at a painting or whatever makes me so happy i could explode. or melt idk steve i must have done something good in my life to deserve him. right now i’m in his kitchen making gluten free sugar cookies (they’re so bad steve they’re so fucking gross) and he’s got sugar on his face and he’s calling me an asshole and i love him so goddamn much. i wouldn’t trade anything for the chance to be his.

sorry. we had a good run. you can fire me in person on jan 4th.

R

PS: do you want black & whites if we can’t find rainbow cookies? (would bring you the ones me & eddie are making but they're inedible. i'm gonna eat them anyway bc i'm in love with him but no reason for you to suffer too.)

_Sent from my iPhone_

* * *

**From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 22, 09:13am

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: RICHARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck Richie. I’m not firing you—you’re my oldest client—who knew you were a romantic? Maybe you should consider writing for TV, you have a surprising way with words—will talk to Margie in TV re: a good fit or no.

You will pay me a lot of money though because i am going to spend the rest of December throwing out 1/2 your elaborate coming out plan. Not a death sentence but this complicates things greatly. Please ask Eddie (fiancé? YOU WERE UNCLEAR) about the level of anonymity he hopes to maintain especially wrt his job/family/etc—actually just bring him on the 4th. Will need PR team to do this right ($$), maybe lawyers—def NDAs. This will be a PITA. Hope that is clear. But who am I to stand in the way of true love?

Do not show up without rainbow cookies. EVERY BAKERY IN MANHATTAN SELLS THEM.

Mazel Tov,

Warmly,  
Steve Covall

* * *

 **From: Richie Tozier**  
To: Steve Covall  
Dec. 24, 03:57pm

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:  
Attachments: our_first_xmas.jpeg

Lol it’s very important to Eddie that we are not technically engaged but I don’t care what he calls us as long as this neurotic little tight ass lets me be his wifey (as the kids say).

Also he made us go to QUEENS to buy your fucking rainbow cookies. Have I mentioned I’m in love with him. Here’s a pic of us by the tree, he’s the cute one, Im the sasquatch. Unfortunately he is brunette and flat chested :( but he’s still beautiful to me.

Happy to pay $$$$. He’s worth it. See you in 2018 boss man!

R

* * *

 **From: Steve Covall**  
To: Richie Tozier  
Dec. 25, 02:32pm

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

Never say “wifey” again. Will ruin you with Gen Z.

Cute matching pajamas. You look very happy Rich. 

Merry xmas, dipshit,  
Steve


End file.
